Business - Written by Don Tapscott on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 7:42 - 6 Comments
The digital display of affection (DDA)
As you might be able to tell by now, I’ve had a bit of extra (read: some) “downtime” recently, and I’ve decided to use some of it to post on this blog more regularly about some of my experiences with wikinomics, both professionally and personally. This post is focused on the latter.
So we’ve all seen public displays of affection (PDA) where a couple is making out on, say a park bench or subway. Now there is the digital equivalent where a couple expressed very personal affection in public places on the web – for example a facebook wall.
When I logged onto facebook recently I was notified or a wall posting by a 20 year old friend (a good female friend of my son’s actually who befriended me) speaking publicly to her boyfriend: “Hey baby, it was great being with you on the weekend. I missed you so much and just loved getting back close with you.” Replies her boyfriend “Yeah, it was sweet. This distance thing really sucks. I can hardly wait to get with you for Thanksgiving.”
I contacted both of them for an interview for my upcoming book “Grown Up Digital” (see facebook group of the same name) asking why they would put such a private conversation on a Wall? Was it just convenience? Were they not thinking? Now that I had pointed this out would they shift to a more private way of communicating on facebook? The answer was no. They want the world to know about their relationship. The want to display their affection for each other on the web.Call it a DDA.
I’m curious what readers of the wikinomics blog think. Is this simply the digital equivalent of being “pinned” in the 50′s – where a girl wore her boyfriend’s school pin in a prominent place on her body? Or is there something else going on here? Is this something amazing, or horrifying, or a little of both?
6 Comments
Mike Dover
I actually added someone as a friend just so I could follow a bizarre argument between two brothers about how one (who, in fairness, has had a difficult life) had …on his Facebook profie…rejected the Catholic Church even though he was married in one.
It really was one of those things that should have been settled in person, but something that was bizarrely compelling to watch play out in (digital) public.
Ming Kwan
From what I’ve seen, people take things they see on facebook very seriously. If anyone changes their relationship status, people will start posting on your wall right away to get the latest update. I feel that young people put these DDA on facebook because it reinforces, without a doubt, that they are in a relationship with that person. Since facebook connects ‘everyone to everyone’, it’s a subtle, or not so subtle way to let everyone know that you’re not available, very happy, not interested in anything else…
You can call these digital hickeys.
My kids spend a lot of time watching reality shows on MTV and similar venues. I guess exposing your personal life on the web is an inexpensive reality show.
Soon the reality TV will be occurring inside the firewall. Serena, a software company, has adopted Facebook as their Intranet: http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/fastforwardblog/SYEL/~3/191841479/
Eric
I know why i seldomly do it, because it’s flattering. When a community of friends is aware of someones relationship, especially at my age (17-20), they have also inferred we are affectionate. The facebook DDA to the “significant other” is a form of flattery. The individual recieving the message feels a sense of flattery, it’s psychologically true. Furthermore, unless a couple is completely accepting of explicit commentary, most relationships have their boundaries with regards to DDA.
I might here and there(bi-weekly?) remind my girlfriend i love her, and we had a great night out somewhere, but i know their’s a line that can be simply saved for a phone conversation in private.
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They were just making out in public.
Wait ’till they break-up and the next GF or BF get’s to read that. Then go back and ask them how they feel about it and if they would do it again…
:0